The calls for allowance are getting stronger. And I want Mighty to have her own money.

But this #deschooling process makes you think about ALL the systems, not just school, and how they are all intertwined.

Our household is our child’s first community. We learn how to interact with other people and the world from how we interact in our house. The values our children take into the world are greatly influenced by what we do in our house. If we want our greater communities to change, I think we have to start imagining how our households need to change in order to ripple outward. In essence, it’s future-making.

I’ve been thinking about contributions and resources and how they can be distributed equitably (not equally) in our household (community). Our resources include money so it makes sense that she should have some input into how it’s spent and, like us, have some money that is just hers to spend how she wants.

There are also contributions that we all make to ensure this household runs smoothly. Contributions are expected from everyone, based on ability. And contributions are all sorts of things, not just household chores. So how do we acknowledge those?

But in relation to chores, little people are not expected to provide the same level of contributions. And children are allowed to have fluctuations in capacity, just like me. Sometimes I don’t feel like cleaning up a thing – and I don’t. I eventually do – because it’s a personal/community need. So I think there should be some flexibility about that for children too. Tying allowance to contributions/chores can be punitive if there is no flexibility, so I’m pretty sure I don’t want to do that.

But quite honestly, it’s hard for me to let this go. Allowances tied to chores is familiar. Everything I’ve learned about good work ethic, and this is how the real world works, and if a man don’t work he don’t eat, and alladat is pressuring me. It’s calling me man!

I’m riffing. Just thinking out loud.

#deschooling #deschoolingoutloud #unschooling #consciousparenting